Emotional Regulation toolkit

How to know what you're feeling, and activities to manage these overwhelming feelings.

ANGER

some physical sensations

  • Sweating

  • Muscles quivering

  • Heart pounding

  • Body starts to feel hot

  • Feel tense

possible thoughts

  • "They never listen to me!"

  • "This is your fault!"

  • "All they do is criticize me!"

  • "I bet they are all plotting against me!"

activities good for managing this emotion

  • Holding an ice cube (trust me- it works)

  • Intense exercise

  • Deep breathing

  • Listen to a happy playlist

  • Watch a funny video

  • Take a quick, cold shower

reflection

Once you have calmed down, it is beneficial to understand why you might have been feeling so angry. Ask yourself what might have been some vulnerability factors to the emotion and what happened in the day. Reflect on how well you managed your anger. Did you say anything to anyone that might have been hurtful when you were upset? Did you act on any urges and what were the consequences or rewards for doing so?

Envy

some physical sensations

  • Feel tense

  • Might feel symptoms similar to anger

  • Might feel some of the symptoms of sadness

  • A pit in your stomach

possible thoughts

  • "Ugh. I wish I looked like them."

  • "They have a perfect life. I wish I were them."

  • "I bet they never have it hard, what an easy life they must have."

activities good for managing this emotion

  • Practice gratitude for the things that you do have

  • Spend time with your family or friends

  • Do something that you love to do

  • Build a skill that you've been working on

  • Try something that you haven't done before

reflection

Once you have calmed down, it is beneficial to understand why you might have been feeling so envious. Ask yourself what might have been some vulnerability factors to the emotion and what happened in the day. Reflect on how well you managed your envy. Did you say anything to anyone that might have been hurtful when you were upset? What did you want that someone else got? Did you act on any urges and what were the consequences or rewards for doing so?

Fear

some physical sensations

  • Sweating

  • Heart pounding

  • Dizzy, lightheaded

  • Feel tense

  • Shallow breathing

possible thoughts

  • "What if I make a fool of myself?"

  • "Everyone is staring at me. They know I'm gonna mess up."

  • "Everyone is judging me."

activities good for managing this emotion

  • Holding an ice cube (trust me- it works)

  • Deep breathing

  • Distract yourself

  • Listen to a calming playlist

  • Meditate

reflection

Once you have calmed down, it is beneficial to understand why you might have been feeling so fearful. Ask yourself what might have been some vulnerability factors to the emotion and what happened in the day. Reflect on how well you managed your fear. Did you act on any urges and what were the consequences or rewards for doing so?

Jealousy

some physical sensations

  • Some sensations might resemble those of anger or envy

  • Tense body

  • Urges to take it out on something

  • Urges to go through someone's messages for example

possible thoughts

  • "That's mine!"

  • "But I went out with them first."

  • "How could they do this to me?"

  • "They just wanna hurt me."

  • "I bet they're cheating on me."

activities good for managing this emotion

  • Holding an ice cube (trust me- it works)

  • Intense exercise

  • Deep breathing

  • Distract yourself

  • Take a quick, cold shower

reflection

Once you have calmed down, it is beneficial to understand why you might have been feeling so jealous. Ask yourself what might have been some vulnerability factors to the emotion and what happened in the day. Reflect on how well you managed your jealousy. Did you say anything to anyone that might have been hurtful when you were upset? Did you act on any urges and what were the consequences or rewards for doing so?

Sadness

some physical sensations

  • Might start to cry

  • Shortness of breath

  • Tightness in chest

  • Lack of energy

  • Weakness in muscles

possible thoughts

  • "No one would notice if I was gone."

  • "Everyone hates me."

  • "I will never be good enough."

  • "I wish I could just disapear."

activities good for managing this emotion

  • ​​Deep breathing

  • Listen to a happy playlist

  • Watch a funny video

  • Take a quick, cold shower

  • Change your body temp (it also works!!)

  • Read a book or use another method of distraction

reflection

Once you have calmed down, it is beneficial to understand why you might feel so sad. Ask yourself what might have been some vulnerability factors to the emotion and what happened in the day. Reflect on how well you managed your sadness. Did you say anything to anyone that might have been hurtful when you were upset? Did you act on any urges, and what were the consequences or rewards for doing so?